He wasn’t the One. This is how I know.
A client of mine was recently hurting after finding out that her ex was in a new relationship. She had thought he was the One and this was a disappointing reminder of how things had fallen apart.
Finding out your ex has moved on stings. Especially when you thought they were your person.
You have to untangle fact from fiction.
The love you felt was SUPER real…
BUT the partnership was not meeting a lot of your needs.
There were lot’s of amazing times together…
BUT it was not as almost perfect as you are trying to remember it.
You thought he was the One…
BUT when there were challenges he did not invest as much as you did to resolve the disconnect and come back together.
You have to forgive the younger you for making some of the decision she made.
For staying too long and ignoring the red flags.
For choosing compromise over sharing what she truly wanted.
For focusing on his potential instead of the man he was bringing to the table day to day.
She wasn’t you yet.
She hadn’t learned what you now know.
She was doing the best she could with the model of relationship she had at the time.
HERE’S THE REASON I KNOW HE WASN’T THE ONE:
Your person will prioritize your partnership. He will feel blessed and excited to co-create life together. He will appreciate you, honor you, and adore you. He will be kind in the way he speaks to you and will apologize when he makes mistakes. He will admit that he is wrong and be gracious when you do the same. He will work with you to resolve misunderstandings together. He will love you deeply and work with you to grow and evolve your partnership.
This is not too much to ask.
This is just the basics.
This is reasonable to want in relationship.
This is exactly what you should expect and look for in a partner.
And if this was not your experience, then rest easy knowing that he was definitely not the One.
Which means your person is still out there.
How magical is THAT?!?!?